Maybe I’m different than everyone else, but I don’t cut to feel numb. I cut to save my life. A panic attack is as painful as a heart attack. For me it starts with my heart racing, reaching palpitations that feel dangerous for my health, my hands start to shake, my mind races and then my chest caves in, I can’t breathe, I’m suffocating, I’m dying.
And so I cut.
I cut to stop the world from leaving me behind
I cut to function normally
My anxiety is awful tonight I have been so good, I’ve been going to therapy and everything in my life has been so perfect and tonight out of nowhere the walls came crashing down and panic struck. I hate anxiety attacks. They are the most awful things I have yet to experience. ): I really thought things were getting better.
I’ve lost count the amount of times I’ve tried to kill myself this year.